Pursuit

God is my portion.

I realized this with the radio on during my 20 minute commute home from work. It was between songs so I was toying with the idea of changing the radio station. The station was fuzzy over the thrumming of my engine and tires. My eyes roamed the road and I caught snatches of the christian DJ's encouraging but cliche comments and then it happened. I got it. 

Loud and inside, "But God. But God being rich in mercy. But. God."

Taken off guard, a sort of sleepy Samuel, I went back to what I had been doing. I asked myself again, "Switch? Or stay." Surprisingly, I heard an overwhelming, "STAY."

Now, hear me out. My psyche wasn't responding so strongly to which radio station I listened to...christian or top hits. This was my soul remembering, hearing, hollering, "THIS IS IMPORTANT."

I had suddenly remembered that God is faithful. 

Every time this happens it takes my breath away. I have spent the past 9 weeks beginning my career as a teacher. I have realized that the world has only hurt, failure, long work days, broken relationships, discontent, and sorrow. It's fallen. Broken. Shattered. 

Just listen to the radio. It'll remind you.

But. God. 

You see, the song, the DJ, the moment, my inward mulling over my day while glancing at the distant cars...all of it came together and reminded me that God is Faithful. Nowhere else in my world is there someone who is perfectly faithful. My dearest, closest family and friends are imperfect. For that matter, I am imperfect!

But. God. 

He faithfully pursues me. He faithfully hears and answers me. He is faithfully true. He deserves glory, fame.

When I first bask in these truths. When I live knowing God and crying tears of gratitude on route 15. THAT is when I realize that contentment is pursuing my Maker. The One who has pursued me relentlessly, tenderly, faithfully.

God is my portion. If there is anything these first nine weeks have taught me, it's this. Happiness is not the pursuit of work, or people, or even rest. Happiness is the pursuit of God.

But. God.

-But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with 

which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, 

made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 

6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly 

places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the coming ages he might 

show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward 

us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. 

And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of 

works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, 

created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared 

beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:4-9