Treasure

When autumn breezes re-colored the leaves and brought them to the ground, I made a decision that rocked my life. I chose to step into adult life seven months sooner than originally planned.

By the grace of God I was able to accept a position at a local elementary school for this quarter. I only had an inkling of the impact this choice would make on my life.

I knew I would spend hours every day listening to children, teaching them, and learning alongside them but I had no idea how quickly these students would steal my heart. Not all students' stories are happy and most days I leave school ready to weep. I cannot seem to leave my mixed emotions at school.

At first, I would come home to my apartment exhausted and expectant. Surely my friends and my roommates have been waiting eagerly all day to see me! Certainly they will want to hear my stories, sympathize, and put me first…

But home has been often empty. You see, when I embarked on my journey, God had different paths prepared for my roommates. God has blessed them in other ways, leading them in ways to show them His grace and love.

I reacted with hurt, pride and fear. Somehow that deadly pair of pride and fear sneak into most of my not-so-great moments... I ached at the thought of losing friends now when I already feared losing them too soon to graduation. I didn't know where to start processing the torrent of change that had already begun and would continue for many more months.

In my fear and frustration I called to God, and He answered. God taught me a new word. (I heard once that old habits cannot simply die; instead, they must be replaced with new habits). The new word is Treasure.
 
Gently, Abba explained that He understood my heart. He knew I worried about losing dear friends at graduation. He recognized my insecurities. He knew I had clung to friends now while hoping the closer I held them, the longer I would keep them. But then He assured me that Treasuring is the better way.

Treasuring, you see, is living in the moment and cherishing each blessing of time with friends. Treasuring is thanking God for the moments He gives and trusting Him. Treasuring is delighting in now without worries of the future which I will be guided through by my all-loving and all-powerful Abba.

I smiled, teary-eyed, while thanking God for His instruction. I contemplated making a sign that said Treasure for over my bedroom door (but that hasn’t happened yet). I apologized, accepted forgiveness, and embarked on a journey of contentment. That happened last weekend.


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This weekend, I feel as if time has stopped. Seventy-degree life-giving breezes during an Indiana November have blown away busyness, schedules, and worry. Instead, this weekend has been a continuous ribbon of rejoicing, peace, rest, and time with friends. Even though I graduate 6 months exactly from today, I have chosen to trust God and to treasure today...