Looking Back

I'm not one to intentionally set aside time for reflecting, since I already spend an enormous amount of time  introspecting. But just this once, I thought I would see how it goes.

This morning I cracked open my journal from last Fall to Spring. I found tear-stained pages, scribbled notes in blue ink, black ink, and faded pencil. And I saw the goodness of God. Many times I would write prayers of desperation.

     "God, help me! I don't know what to do!"
     "God, do you want me to go to Thailand? Will you provide financially?"
     "God, please change my attitude. I know it's wrong, but YOU have to help me."
     "God, where have you been? Where have I been?"
     "God, what are you doing? Why is this happening?"

Other times I would bask in the truth of a passage, or praise God for who He is, or wonder at what He had done and how He had answered my prayers. Now, at the end of 2011, I glorify God even more for the great things He has been doing.

     -He has given me direction, taught me more about who I am and my identity in Christ, and continues to change me.
     -He has never left me nor forsaken me. God is my helper, my provider. He has shown Himself trustworthy.
     -He did send me to Thailand and used that experience to grow my love for the nations and Him.
     -He has blessed me greatly with my family, friends, and roomZis.

However, everything this year hasn't turned out how I asked or expected. But that's when a passage from Habakkuk I also found in my journal is especially meaningful.